I started smoking at an early age, I was in an abusive marriage and my ex-husband hated smoking, so I started smoking behind his back as a way to keep some control. This then became a habit, and an addiction. Even when I got divorced from him, I was still smoking as a comfort initially, and a way to cope with everything.
I then developed asthma and I started to smoke less, but only because I couldn’t breathe as easily. I was on 10 a day, but then I had a really bad flare up about 10 years ago, and it really scared me. I thought if I don’t do something about it soon, I’ll die.
The doctor mentioned the local stop smoking service to me, so I went and had a session. Initially I relapsed as I was feeling very stressed, and so I had another flare up. I tried vaping for 2 months, but back then they weren’t as established as they are now, and used to burn your tongue. So I came back into the service and started on the nicotine patches instead, first on a high dose and then gradually getting lower.
I was still having one cigarette in the morning, but then the patches were helping with my cravings after 2-3 weeks, so I then didn’t even need this anymore.
I was diagnosed with COPD before I stopped smoking, and thankfully because I stopped when I did, it’s only mild now. My breathing has improved, I have breath in my lungs, and there’s no longer a horrible smell either. I have more energy than I used to, and more money too. I’m so happy I don’t smoke now with all the cost of living prices going up too!
The worst part for me was when I was driving. I don’t like driving, and I would always need to have a cigarette beforehand, to calm myself down. while I was quitting, I was tempted to still have a cigarette before I stepped into the car, but my daughter-in-law helped me remember that I didn’t need one, and it would be ok.
I work for the NHS as a staff nurse on the cardiology and out-patients ward, and the Trust have a smoking policy now. I would rather do something else with my free time than go outside for a cigarette. In my line of work I see many smokers, who are breathless and have COPD on the ward, and you can always smell smoke on them. If they ask, I always tell them they should quit, and how I managed to do it myself too. The patients can relate to me as I’ve had my own experience.
I didn’t believe that I could do it, but I thought I should go because I had been referred by a doctor, but I really surprised myself! I like people to know that it can be done, and I’m proof of that!
I wish I’d made the decision to quit sooner, but I travelled from Romania in 2008 to England, and I needed some time to get settled, so I didn’t have the willpower or energy to quit before. My new husband doesn’t smoke either, and I’m so glad. I’ve been 8 years smokefree now too.
Getting support from a service really works, rather than doing it alone. I couldn’t have done it without the extra help. Every little helps.
You will get there, even if you relapse, so don’t give up, use the service, don’t lie to yourself as you’re only letting yourself down.
The most valuable advice that was given to me was that even if you’re struggling staying smokefree now, you will see the benefits in the end, and my advisor was right.
I wish for a better world without cigarettes, as people don’t know what damage they’re doing to their bodies. I see the damage when I’m at work on the ward, and the pain it causes.
It’s very difficult to stop, but don’t give up!