What shall I say, it’s been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. From witnessing domestic violence towards my mother at the age of four years old and sexual abuse from the age of six to fourteen years old.
All my feelings were buried deep in the back of my head, it all came back to bite me in 2008. I couldn’t cope, I was binge drinking on and off to self-medicate until I fell asleep, a very vicious cycle which went on for years. I was self-harming, homeless, and I had suicide attempts. I was referred numerous times to mental health and alcohol services, with no success.
The turning point for me was when the crisis team referred me to Recovery Connections. At first, I didn’t really engage. After a few blips and a total mental breakdown, I was passed over to Change Grow Live. My worker Catherine was brilliant with me. I started attending numerous classes, like Reiki, Foundations and Mindfulness. Life changed for me, I started understanding myself and using the tools I learned to help me cope with life’s events. The one thing that I’ve learned is that if I’m struggling, I’m not scared to ask for help.
Mindfulness helps me a great deal for my anxiety, and I practice every day. Also attending Recovery Connections, the waking group, coffee morning, the gym, cooking group and the social evening. My worker from Recovery Connections, Manda, is brilliant in supporting me and it's such an inspiration that most of the workers have been in my shoes, which has given me hope.
All these tools which I’ve learned have made me stronger, more considerate and I’m now in the right head space to finally pull the platers off and face my demons head on and receive trauma counselling with Arch. Processing my trauma and filing it away is brutal, but I need to so it for myself and move on with my life, knowing none of it was my fault.
Onwards and upwards, moving forward with no alcohol, and my life is in a much better place. I’m nine months alcohol free. I’m attending the course to become an ambassador and volunteer for the service to give back and help other people in the community. I’d like to say a big thank you to staff across the board in Change Grow Live and Recovery Connections for believing in me and giving me hope.
So, I say to anyone feeling anxious about attending groups, take a deep breath and do it. Try them all and find out what works for you. Start your journey into recovery and you will be supported 100%. I would like to wish you well on your journey. Remember, one step at a time.